On Saturday, I spoke on a panel titled "Youth Ministry 101" at a youth ministry symposium. The focus topic of the symposium was the church's role in honoring and educating teens about sexuality, sex education, and gender; necessary work I am excited about. The panel went extremely well and I received compliments and appreciation from the attendees and organizers for what I shared. I came home exhausted, proud of myself, but still self conscious about what I brought to the table and lamented on the many faults I found in myself and as a youth minister. Then I identified my self defeating thoughts and grew frustrated how easily I feel into that. That's what many of us do, right? Even on days when we are celebrated, asked to share wisdom, or acknowledged for our efforts, we unnecessarily beat ourselves up and think we are not "enough".
At home, I folded up the blanket we keep in the couch and out fell this note. Maybe I forgot, but I don't remember having this note, have no idea who it was originally intended for, and can't think of why it would be in the couch. A couch that I vacuum frequently and a blanket that I use and fold several times a week. Regardless, this message written in my late sister's handwriting was immensely appreciated and brought my heart healing. The universe knew exactly what I needed to be assured of.
I really appreciate the theory that the afterlife or heaven is a dimension that is as near to us as pages on a book. It is a good explanation as to why, every now and then, we get a precious interaction that reminds us that our departed beloveds aren't really that far from us. It is an acknowledgment that there is more to our universe and our life than we can possibly comprehend. That our souls go elsewhere, yet not far. Perhaps this post it note was hidden away in a crevice of this couch and got tangled in the blanket. Perhaps I'm insane, but I like to think this note and the timing of it were a loving encouragement from my big sissy. Now it is safe in a frame that belonged to her.
We are all continual works in progress and you are "enough". You are beautifully and wonderfully made. You are loved by our Creator. You are worth other people's time. Your opinion and personal knowledge is worth sharing. You have a place at the table of life.
If you feel lost, I encourage you to meditate and pray to figure out what faith, people, and work make your soul at peace and complete. Prepare to make mistakes and fail and even then, know you are of worth and beautiful. Your heart will be broken because you invested it in something or someone you loved and that love spent outside of you will be worthwhile. You, with all of your faults, were created to live a life full of happiness, purpose, and love.
Peace to you, friends. Or, as Amy would say, love and light to you, beautiful souls.